Skip to main content

Daily Reflection 29 SEP 2016

EXACTLY ALIKE
Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89
A man came to the meeting drunk, interrupted the speakers, stood up and took his shirt off, staggered loudly back and forth for coffee, demanded to talk, and eventually called the group's secretary an unquotable name and walked out. I was glad he was there – once again I saw what I had been like. But I also saw what I still am, and what I still could be. I don't have to be drunk to want to be the exception and the center of attention. I have often felt abused and responded abusively when I was simply being treated as a garden variety human being. The more the man tried to insist he was different, the more I realized that he and I were exactly alike.
Yikes. I honestly don't have anything else to add because this says it perfectly.  I'm no special snowflake.  An alcoholic is an alcoholic. Learning to accept that I'm no different than anyone else in the meeting rooms has been a challenge but rewarding. I feel like I'm not just healing; I'm growing the fuck up.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Living Without Fear

I've been dealing with a string of injuries and find myself still smiling, still striving, and still looking for ways to be of maximum service to everyone I encounter. I just got results back on an MRI and was told I have a somewhat common degenerative condition in my neck.  For the last couple of months, my right arm has been weak and my index finger and thumb numb. The numbness is growing and now my arm has a persistent feeling of pins and needles. The unusual thing is that I'm about 20 years too young to experience this. If left untreated, the condition could cost me the use of both arms or worse.  I'm seeing a specialist on 11/30 to determine the best treatment options. The way I see it, it is yet another chance to demonstrate that my body is simply an extension of my spirit. My strength is not flesh and bone, but faith and God's daily gift of grace.  Each day is an opportunity to practice my submission of self-will and reliance on His will. Each day is an oppor...

What Kind of Ripples Will you Make?

My kids talk about karma. I talk about grace, the Holy Spirit, and about life-giving words. I have heard people talk about vibrations and energy.  It probably doesn't matter how you contextualize the concept - the truth remains that our existence impacts others. Our actions, words, and even thoughts carry out and resonate with others long after we've forgotten what we did or said. Lately, when I pray I see images or have thoughts of ripples. This isn't some grand revelation, but just a reminder that my thoughts, words, and actions impact far beyond what I can see. I think of my words or actions as a rock, the pond is my community, and the water's surface as a point in time. Long after the rock passes through the water's surface, the ripples are still traveling outward, still impacting others in the pond. I'm not special in this way. I believe we are all impacting each other. The question for me is what kind of ripples do I want to make? Do I want to encourag...

Daily Reflection: Serenity After The Storm

SERENITY AFTER THE STORM Someone who knew what he was talking about once remarked that pain was the touchstone of all spiritual progress. How heartily we A.A.'s can agree with him. . . . — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 93-94 When on the roller coaster of emotional turmoil, I remember that growth is often painful. My evolution in the A.A. program has taught me that I must experience the inner change, however painful, that eventually guides me from selfishness to selflessness. If I am to have serenity, I must STEP my way past emotional turmoil and its subsequent hangover, and be grateful for continuing spiritual progress. Stasis.  That's what my drinking was all about.  Life is ever changing, and i used to hate that.  Since we have absolutely no control over our surroundings, we can't prevent change.  I drank because I wanted to numb all my feelings about the things going on in my life.  I didn't want to face my part in a second divorce, in my...