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Creating habits

I've been chipping away at the 3rd list on my fourth step just a little bit each every couple of days.   I've been reading the daily reflection almost every day.  I've been making one meeting a week.  The thing I see is I'm finally over the hump.  I'm past the point of indecision.  Now that I'm committed, I'm starting to see little changes in my routine, little changes in my perspective, and a willingness to own up to my shortcomings as they manifest and make "amends" before the guilt/shame/pressure/anxiety builds up.

I'm NOT a posterchild for AA.  My bottom was not very low, and my progress has not been meteoric. If I run into people I haven't seen for years, they simple say "You look good.  You look happy."  That's enough for me.  There is no radical transformation, largely because I've been I've been putting in work at a glacial pace.  Put there is progress, and my belief is that for an ADHD guy like me, the longer it takes to make the changes, the more permanent they are. If I stick with one tiny act each day, or even 3-4 times a week, for months on end, it becomes a part of my routine, my character, my DNA.

I'm approaching 8 months of meetings, step-work, and sobriety.  I have to say, I like that this is just what I do.  Same as my vegetable smoothies.  Same as lifting every morning.  Same as church on Sunday.  It is part of my daily attempt to become more; become who god  wants me to be.

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 27, 2016 at 6:54 AM

    Excellent post my friend! It has been a joy watching your growth and transformation over the last several months. I noticed the part where you said that you were moving at a glacial pace, don't worry about that. The 12 steps are not a race. At this noon meeting I've been going to there is a man there who did not begin his fourth step until two years into his sobriety. While I wouldn't avidly promote this longevity of time for most, the point is it takes what it takes; and it's better to go at a slow pace and put your whole into the steps then to breeze through the steps leaving key information out that would cause you to go back out.

    I also agree with what you said about routine.I would encourage more than one meeting a week if you can. I ideally shoot for two, but I won't dictate your program. I do think it's time for you to seek a service position in the group as the water person. Being a part of service is a huge part in recovery. I did groceries for the group for a while and it's good to be tied into service wit fellow AA's. Please feel free to reach out to me whenever.

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