Skip to main content

10 Months of Progress

My mind still gets the best of me.  I talk to people and think about  what was said, what wasn't said, what the "real meaning" was, and my mind starts  running full speed to nowhere. I still have to collect myself, pray, and let go. I still have to remind myself it isn't personal.

Last time, when I got to almost 2 years sobreity, I thought "Man, I kick ass.  I don't need meetings anymore." Then I fell apart, blew up, and started over.  Now that I have 10 months under my belt, I think "I'm doing great. I don't want to lose what i've gained.  I need to keep going to meetings and stay sober."

I apologize for all the times I complained about problems that weren't there. I apologize for the times I've cast judgement on others for my own shortcomings. I apologize for the times I've sacrificed my own self-respect just to keep the peace.

Today my prayer is that god wiill reveal to me the ways in which I can be of most service to others, that I have the courage to  act on it, and that I view everything that happens through the filter of compassion and love.  May my ego be uprooted and removed from me entirely.

Comments

  1. UnknownJanuary 21, 2017 at 7:46 PM

    Congratulations! I'm proud of you for reaching 10 months of continuous sobriety.

    As I read your post, I could not help but think that it sounds like you have began to feel a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. MeetingS are so extremely important as they reinforce our humility and our reliance on a higher power. Also, meetings provide us the venue to carry our message forward to the alcoholics who still suffer who are looking for relief.

    Keep working it brother!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Living Without Fear

I've been dealing with a string of injuries and find myself still smiling, still striving, and still looking for ways to be of maximum service to everyone I encounter. I just got results back on an MRI and was told I have a somewhat common degenerative condition in my neck.  For the last couple of months, my right arm has been weak and my index finger and thumb numb. The numbness is growing and now my arm has a persistent feeling of pins and needles. The unusual thing is that I'm about 20 years too young to experience this. If left untreated, the condition could cost me the use of both arms or worse.  I'm seeing a specialist on 11/30 to determine the best treatment options. The way I see it, it is yet another chance to demonstrate that my body is simply an extension of my spirit. My strength is not flesh and bone, but faith and God's daily gift of grace.  Each day is an opportunity to practice my submission of self-will and reliance on His will. Each day is an oppor...
1 comment
Read more

What Kind of Ripples Will you Make?

My kids talk about karma. I talk about grace, the Holy Spirit, and about life-giving words. I have heard people talk about vibrations and energy.  It probably doesn't matter how you contextualize the concept - the truth remains that our existence impacts others. Our actions, words, and even thoughts carry out and resonate with others long after we've forgotten what we did or said. Lately, when I pray I see images or have thoughts of ripples. This isn't some grand revelation, but just a reminder that my thoughts, words, and actions impact far beyond what I can see. I think of my words or actions as a rock, the pond is my community, and the water's surface as a point in time. Long after the rock passes through the water's surface, the ripples are still traveling outward, still impacting others in the pond. I'm not special in this way. I believe we are all impacting each other. The question for me is what kind of ripples do I want to make? Do I want to encourag...
Post a Comment
Read more

Daily Reflection: Serenity After The Storm

SERENITY AFTER THE STORM Someone who knew what he was talking about once remarked that pain was the touchstone of all spiritual progress. How heartily we A.A.'s can agree with him. . . . — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 93-94 When on the roller coaster of emotional turmoil, I remember that growth is often painful. My evolution in the A.A. program has taught me that I must experience the inner change, however painful, that eventually guides me from selfishness to selflessness. If I am to have serenity, I must STEP my way past emotional turmoil and its subsequent hangover, and be grateful for continuing spiritual progress. Stasis.  That's what my drinking was all about.  Life is ever changing, and i used to hate that.  Since we have absolutely no control over our surroundings, we can't prevent change.  I drank because I wanted to numb all my feelings about the things going on in my life.  I didn't want to face my part in a second divorce, in my...
1 comment
Read more