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leaning into the program

This last week was a weird one for me.  Lots of change in my life; lots of uncertainty; and I've lost all sight of my comfort zone. Normally, I'd withdrawn from anyone and everyone and find myself isolated. Its different this time.

I'm leaning into the fellowship, into my program, into my prayer life, and staying connected with friends and family.

The old me would lament the impermanence of friendships and how often life changes before I was ready. The new me just rolls with it all because I know God is in charge. I had someone tell me that my desire to improve is an act and a big lie. All I can say is I am sorry for every time I've hurt people, but moving away from chaos and toward simplicity is the way I can keep becoming who I am intended to be.

Other friendships are transforming as we finally relinquish self-will and turn it all over to God's will. That was probably the hardest decision I've had to make in the last few years. I won't go into details, but I'm witnessing God doing things for me that I've not been able to do for myself; things like setting boundaries that will help me regain self-respect.

I'm stepping out of complacency and into risk. I'm facing all of my fears and trusting that God's plan for me is far more rewarding than any plan I've ever had for myself.

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 18, 2017 at 8:13 AM

    Wow! I had chills as I read your post because it transported me back to when I had roughly six months of sobriety and I was about to chair my first meeting. At the time, the chairperson wold select a topic for the meeting and my first topic was the 9th step promises because I was starting to see them materialize in my life.

    As I read your post, I could not help but think that you have found a new freedom and a new happiness. God is doing for you what you could not do for yourself. I am so very proud of you my friend and the progress you are making. I don't know why I deliberately chose for years to complicate my life, but the 12 steps have returned me to simplicity and I am so much happier for it.

    Today, I ask you to please set aside 10 minutes for reflection. I ask that you slowly read the 9th step promises in the book (p. 83 and 84 I believe) and reflect on where you are now versus where you were on March 14, 2016.

    Let us continue to move forward in the program together so that your spiral awakening may be further enhanced my friend. I'm proud of you!

    ReplyDelete

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