Skip to main content

Advice from my son

"Don't confuse circumstance with character."

WOW!!!!

My son hit me with that truth when we were talking about dating.  I was making excuses for someone in my past, and he cut me off with that sentence. He stopped me cold.  I made excuses for her for almost 3 years. I was saying maybe it was timing; maybe if she'd had more time between her divorce and meeting me, then maybe she wouldn't have done some of those things.

How is it a 14 year old boy can see to the heart of a matter like dating but I could be so oblivious?  I wanted what I wanted for so long and sacrificed so much self-respect to make it work that it became impossible for me to see the situation for what it was; impossible to see her for who she is. I was blinded by self-will.

Man, I'm blessed beyond measure to have the life I have, and to have it unfold exactly as it has.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Living Without Fear

I've been dealing with a string of injuries and find myself still smiling, still striving, and still looking for ways to be of maximum service to everyone I encounter. I just got results back on an MRI and was told I have a somewhat common degenerative condition in my neck.  For the last couple of months, my right arm has been weak and my index finger and thumb numb. The numbness is growing and now my arm has a persistent feeling of pins and needles. The unusual thing is that I'm about 20 years too young to experience this. If left untreated, the condition could cost me the use of both arms or worse.  I'm seeing a specialist on 11/30 to determine the best treatment options. The way I see it, it is yet another chance to demonstrate that my body is simply an extension of my spirit. My strength is not flesh and bone, but faith and God's daily gift of grace.  Each day is an opportunity to practice my submission of self-will and reliance on His will. Each day is an oppor...

What Kind of Ripples Will you Make?

My kids talk about karma. I talk about grace, the Holy Spirit, and about life-giving words. I have heard people talk about vibrations and energy.  It probably doesn't matter how you contextualize the concept - the truth remains that our existence impacts others. Our actions, words, and even thoughts carry out and resonate with others long after we've forgotten what we did or said. Lately, when I pray I see images or have thoughts of ripples. This isn't some grand revelation, but just a reminder that my thoughts, words, and actions impact far beyond what I can see. I think of my words or actions as a rock, the pond is my community, and the water's surface as a point in time. Long after the rock passes through the water's surface, the ripples are still traveling outward, still impacting others in the pond. I'm not special in this way. I believe we are all impacting each other. The question for me is what kind of ripples do I want to make? Do I want to encourag...

Daily Reflection: Serenity After The Storm

SERENITY AFTER THE STORM Someone who knew what he was talking about once remarked that pain was the touchstone of all spiritual progress. How heartily we A.A.'s can agree with him. . . . — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 93-94 When on the roller coaster of emotional turmoil, I remember that growth is often painful. My evolution in the A.A. program has taught me that I must experience the inner change, however painful, that eventually guides me from selfishness to selflessness. If I am to have serenity, I must STEP my way past emotional turmoil and its subsequent hangover, and be grateful for continuing spiritual progress. Stasis.  That's what my drinking was all about.  Life is ever changing, and i used to hate that.  Since we have absolutely no control over our surroundings, we can't prevent change.  I drank because I wanted to numb all my feelings about the things going on in my life.  I didn't want to face my part in a second divorce, in my...