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Bill's Story

Chapter 1 is titled Bill's Story.  He is an important character in the history of AA,but this blog isn't a book report, so I'll move along to what I took away from this chapter.

I've read Chapter 1 many times as I've started and stopped, then restarted the 12 steps.  A boy comes into manhood ready to take on the world.  He is cocky, arrogant, full of unfounded pride, and doesn't even yet know he is wearing blinders.  He can't fathom a world greater than his limited vision.  He can't fathom a world of problems greater than his limited strength.

Then life hits and he is crushed. Life punches him in the face till the blinders fall off.   He has to admit what a narrow-sighted fool he has been and find a better path; OR hold onto his ego, and keep trying to do it on his own and rationalize away all the repeated mistakes and repeated failures.

There is pain in the process of dissolving your ego; pain in accepting you alone are not enough; pain in accepting you never had control over a situation; pain the first time you acknowledge the failures are a result of your best efforts and that the successes are a result of God's blessings.

But as you slowly trim back the branches of your ego, slowly pull it out by the root, you see God's hand at work all the steps of your life.  I can see vividly when God took me away from situations I thought necessary to my success or happiness; situations that were often times toxic.   I can see that the root of my ego siphoned away all the nourishment meant for the branches Christ planted in my soul, the branches meant to bear fruit,

John 15: 1-8
1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Judging by the fruit of AA's labors, this program is in Christ and Christ is in AA.  Judging by the fruit of my life, I have been at times in Christ, and at times very far out of fellowship with Christ.

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