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Daily Reflection: A Priceless Gift

A PRICELESS GIFT
By this time in all probability we have gained some measure of release from our more devastating handicaps. We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of mind. To those of us who have hitherto known only excitement, depression, or anxiety – in other words, to all of us – this newfound peace is a priceless gift.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 74
I am learning to let go and let God, to have a mind that is open and a heart that is willing to receive God's grace in all my affairs; in this way I can experience the peace and freedom that come as a result of surrender. It has been proven that an act of surrender, originating in desperation and defeat, can grow into an ongoing act of faith, and that faith means freedom and victory.
Excitement, depression, or anxiety.  Thank you, God, for showing me that I am not alone in my brokenness.  I am really good at feeling these three states.  I am all too comfortable living in these three states.   Excitement is good, but it can't be sustained.  This is exactly why I go through relationships, hobbies, causes, whatever.  The moment excitement wears off, I'm left with REAL, and REAL just gives me anxiety or depression.  So now I'm learning to have excitement on my own.  That's OK, but what happens when the excitement wears off and I can't abandon myself?  I'm stuck with me.  At the very least I no longer face anxiety when I'm on my own; but I for damn sure don't want to face depression again.
My only choice is to grow, to give myself fully to God and pray humbly for him to take away all the broken thoughts  that drive me to anxiety or depression.  Lord, let me live today in your presence, and trust in the sufficiency of your Grace. Soon I'll be able to live in joy and contentment.
THAT line of thinking is helping me to see today for the gift it is.  I am able to live today with something more than just excitement.  Today, I have a purpose, and that purpose is to stay sober and to be a servant of my Lord and Creator.  The only way I know how to serve God, is to serve everyone in his creation.
I thank God that I no longer rely on my own strength or my own will.  I thank God that I can at least identify when I'm pressing my will over all else.  The change in heart and mind is happening slowly, but it is happening. 

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