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Step 3 Done. Now it gets real

Steps 1 through 3 were real enough, but they only required a sincere desire, and I have that in spades. My desire is born from the  gift of desperation. I desperately want to let go  of this baggage. I desperately want to live in joy and contentment. I desperately want to face the crap I've been sweeping under the rug for 40 years.

I'm as far into  the  process as I got  last time.  I stopped here last time because my ego  wouldn't allow me to pursue step 4.  I  didn't want to do any house cleaning. I  didn't want to let go absolutely. I wasn't ready to let my life be directed by God's will over my own.  I get it now.

Yesterday  was a difficult day for me in a lot of ways, but I worked with my sponsor and revealed some things I've been lugging around for months on end.  The enemy comes to lie, steal, and kill, and destroy.  The enemy lies to you and these destructive lies can only survive in the dark  recesses of our minds.  The moment you shine the light of compassion on those thoughts, those lies, by sharing with someone, they evaporate.

For the first time in my life I'm ready to wipe the slate clean, and I'll do anything necessary to get it done. I'm ready to let go absolutely and work until I succeed.

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