This is powerful stuff. And seeking to be truthful and humble, I only read it because one of my closest friends texted it to me this morning.
The more honest I am with myself, the more I can discern between seeking to be honest in all my affairs vs. seeking to to APPEAR honest.
When I want to the appearance of honesty, I look for the of reactions I get from the things I do and say. That isn't a genuine way to live. That doesn't lead to serenity or true joy.
Here lately I've just been trying to live. I want to respond to situations in a way that is natural, free of motive, and as true to myself and my faith as possible. I don't always succeed, but in trying to do so, I've learned to let go of motive a little more each day, let go of expectations. I can enjoy choosing to be alone doing laundry, running with friends, or a night out with equal ease. I can enjoy doing something nice for someone even when it goes unnoticed or unmentioned. It is becoming easier to do the right things for the right reasons.
I think I've found a new attribute to add to my morning prayers.
God, give me the courage to do Your will today, free of all expectations, free of need or desire. Help me to simply do what is right because it is what You would have me do. May I be of service to others, not for my sake, but for the sake of honoring You.
The more honest I am with myself, the more I can discern between seeking to be honest in all my affairs vs. seeking to to APPEAR honest.
When I want to the appearance of honesty, I look for the of reactions I get from the things I do and say. That isn't a genuine way to live. That doesn't lead to serenity or true joy.
Here lately I've just been trying to live. I want to respond to situations in a way that is natural, free of motive, and as true to myself and my faith as possible. I don't always succeed, but in trying to do so, I've learned to let go of motive a little more each day, let go of expectations. I can enjoy choosing to be alone doing laundry, running with friends, or a night out with equal ease. I can enjoy doing something nice for someone even when it goes unnoticed or unmentioned. It is becoming easier to do the right things for the right reasons.
I think I've found a new attribute to add to my morning prayers.
God, give me the courage to do Your will today, free of all expectations, free of need or desire. Help me to simply do what is right because it is what You would have me do. May I be of service to others, not for my sake, but for the sake of honoring You.
Good stuff. I am trying to get out in front of humility before it's forced on me-- you either have it, or life's going to give it to you.
ReplyDeleteThe July 13 Daily Reflection also has a great quote on humility: "I need to pray for knowledge of God's will today, and see how my experience with hope and pain can help other people; if I can do that, I don't need to search for humility, it has found me."
I heard in the meeting that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but rather it is thinking of yourself less. When I was an active alcoholic, I only cared about how situations impacted ME, and I did not care much for how the situations impacted others. If I were driving on the freeway in rush hour and there was an accident that slowed us to a stop, all I could think about was "how dare these people drive recklessly, get in an accident, and inconvenience ME!" What self-centered and irrational thinking!!
ReplyDeleteIn my sobriety, as a result of working the steps and in particular step 3, I have come to the realization that at any given moment I am exactly where my Higher Power wants for me to be. In the same traffic scenario, I now pause while I am stopped and pray for the safety of those who were involved in the accident and for the first responders. I now thank my Higher Power for having the foresight to protect me from things I could not have anticipated. If I had left 5 or 10 minutes earlier, it could have been me in the accident. There are still times when I become agitated when my day does not go as I planned; however, that is when, as a result of the steps, I realize that is my alcoholic brain talking. Rather, I should remember that my Higher Power knows my daily events far before I do. When I keep this in mind, there is no need to be agitated when a meeting runs later than expected, when someone calls the phone line at 4:59 pm because they have a question, when I am at the supermarket and someone cuts in the checkout line. Wherever I am, I am where I am supposed to be.