Skip to main content

Daily Reflections: Bringing the Message Home

BRINGING THE MESSAGE HOME
Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group?
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp.111-12
My family members suffer from the effects of my disease. Loving and accepting them as they arejust as I love and accept A.A. members—fosters a return of love, tolerance and harmony to my life. Using common courtesy and respecting others' personal boundaries are necessary practices for all areas of my life.
This one is tough for me.  It isn't hard to love my family as they are, and it isn't  hard to respect their boundaries.  The issue is with those who not only don't respect my boundaries, but actively seek to trample them.   I love them, but I also respect myself and have chosen to no longer spend time with them unless there is a larger extended family get-together.
I got tired of hearing all of the following:
  • You were more fun when you drank.
  • I like you better when you're drunk.
  • That's why your girlfriend would rather hang out with <insert any guy's name here> than with you. That's why she has more fun with him.
  • Don't be a b---h. Just drink a beer with me.
The issue with these family members isn't just respecting my decision to not drink. The issue is dealing with those who's lack of self respect manifests as a violent detest of those WITH self respect.

So yes - I love my family exactly as they are, but I refuse engage with people who "like me better" when I'm destroying my life and living in misery and insanity.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Living Without Fear

I've been dealing with a string of injuries and find myself still smiling, still striving, and still looking for ways to be of maximum service to everyone I encounter. I just got results back on an MRI and was told I have a somewhat common degenerative condition in my neck.  For the last couple of months, my right arm has been weak and my index finger and thumb numb. The numbness is growing and now my arm has a persistent feeling of pins and needles. The unusual thing is that I'm about 20 years too young to experience this. If left untreated, the condition could cost me the use of both arms or worse.  I'm seeing a specialist on 11/30 to determine the best treatment options. The way I see it, it is yet another chance to demonstrate that my body is simply an extension of my spirit. My strength is not flesh and bone, but faith and God's daily gift of grace.  Each day is an opportunity to practice my submission of self-will and reliance on His will. Each day is an oppor...
1 comment
Read more

What Kind of Ripples Will you Make?

My kids talk about karma. I talk about grace, the Holy Spirit, and about life-giving words. I have heard people talk about vibrations and energy.  It probably doesn't matter how you contextualize the concept - the truth remains that our existence impacts others. Our actions, words, and even thoughts carry out and resonate with others long after we've forgotten what we did or said. Lately, when I pray I see images or have thoughts of ripples. This isn't some grand revelation, but just a reminder that my thoughts, words, and actions impact far beyond what I can see. I think of my words or actions as a rock, the pond is my community, and the water's surface as a point in time. Long after the rock passes through the water's surface, the ripples are still traveling outward, still impacting others in the pond. I'm not special in this way. I believe we are all impacting each other. The question for me is what kind of ripples do I want to make? Do I want to encourag...
Post a Comment
Read more

Daily Reflection: Serenity After The Storm

SERENITY AFTER THE STORM Someone who knew what he was talking about once remarked that pain was the touchstone of all spiritual progress. How heartily we A.A.'s can agree with him. . . . — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 93-94 When on the roller coaster of emotional turmoil, I remember that growth is often painful. My evolution in the A.A. program has taught me that I must experience the inner change, however painful, that eventually guides me from selfishness to selflessness. If I am to have serenity, I must STEP my way past emotional turmoil and its subsequent hangover, and be grateful for continuing spiritual progress. Stasis.  That's what my drinking was all about.  Life is ever changing, and i used to hate that.  Since we have absolutely no control over our surroundings, we can't prevent change.  I drank because I wanted to numb all my feelings about the things going on in my life.  I didn't want to face my part in a second divorce, in my...
1 comment
Read more